What Brother Robert Taught Me

I am a member at Fellowship Baptist Church in Maryville, TN. It's one of those churches where you feel at home immediately. Everyone makes you feel welcome and you never feel judged - just loved.

I've had my share of ups and downs in life. Recently I feel like there have been quite a bit more downs than ups, but I know God is faithful, He's always with me... constant, loving, immovable, trustworthy, caring.

Sometimes it's the little things that speak to you. Sometimes it's certain people that you come across that you learn dear lessons from. I learned some of those important lessons from a dear man that was a member at Fellowship that recently passed away. He lived in a local nursing home and for the most part, was wheel chair bound. As far as I know, he suffered from a stroke and had limited movement.

I didn't have a lot of interaction with Brother Robert but this is what I learned from him: He would always give you a firm handshake. Although he couldn't speak well, he would talk with you if you spoke to him. He was sweet. He was faithful to the house of God. He loved people. He came to worship his Lord and he enjoyed Jesus and everything He has to offer every time he came to church. He smiled. He was genuine.

Brother Robert is in a better place right now. He is worshipping at the feet of the One he loved so much while he was here on Earth. The place he sat in church may be filled but it will always feel a little bit empty.

Brother Robert, you are and will continue to be missed. And if I didn't tell you while you were here, I'm telling you now: THANK YOU! Your example helped me and taught me. You revealed a bit more of Jesus to me than I've seen before.

Brother Robert is the one in the video with his hand raised. That was a constant sight at Fellowship Baptist Church.

Would It Make a Difference If You Knew Your Destiny?

If you had a calling?

I'm a dreamer and probably a bit naive. I always assume other people are like me - that they want to do something great in life or greater than ordinary, at least.

So I was thinking, would it make a difference if you knew your destiny?

If you were flat broke, but you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was your destiny to become a millionaire, how would that change your perspective on your current status? I think it would change your outlook quite a bit. You would not get down by your current circumstances in quite the same way... you'd probably take a few more risks... you would plan and work and move forward with a purpose. You would move down the path to your destiny, wouldn't you?

Having a clear purpose in life: a destiny, a calling, a mission, has an amazing way of separating those who wander in life and react to it and those who cut a path through life and work with a drive and purpose unknown by countless others.

So I guess my question to you is, "What is your destiny? Calling? Mission?"

If you don't know, when are you going to find out? What do you want it to be?

I recommend you start with one thing that you are passionate about. What is something that you love - that you never tire of? What makes you feel good that can make a positive difference in the lives of others? Is it music, art, ministry, being an encouragement, writing, building, fixing? There are so many things one can choose from, but where are your talents? What drives you?

Live with purpose. Find your calling and answer it. Live your life with no excuses. Start now.

Divorce Your Inner Negativity

Divorce can be a nasty thing. There's nothing like getting the old gizzard worked up after someone you once had so much love for and dreams with turn into a bitter rival or enemy. If you feel like you haven't been in a deep enough pit, I recommend divorce - it will dig you in fast and deep!

But when can divorce be a good thing? I say it can be good when you decide to divorce something in your life that brings you absolutely no value or benefit.

Today I want to pick on negativity. Similar to a marriage, I think many people fall in love with that negative voice in their heads. You can't do it. You won't amount to anything. It's too risky. It's too hard. It's not worth it. You'll be let down. Can't. Won't. Shouldn't. Not. No. Never. Un-uh. Afraid not. Afraid to.  How do you build anything significant on this?

Here's a suggestion. Divorce your negativity. Don't invite him over for dinner. Don't buy him cards or flowers. Don't take him with you to church, the movies, on vacation or to work. I think a little more of "I'm just not that into you." is in order for your negativity. Time for a good old fashioned dump and run.

What did your negativity do for you anyway? Where or how are you better today because of it? I suggest you move on and move forward. Focus on what you can do. Focus on what you are going to start doing. Positive change. Positive people. Positive self-talk. Can. Will. Should. Yes. Always. Yup. Not afraid.

And I highly suggest you have Mr. Negativity pay the court costs to finalize your fractured relationship.

When You Mess Up...

And we all do, own it.

Messed up your life, your relationship, your job, a friendship, a task? Failed to follow through on a commitment, a vow, a goal?

You can choose to ignore the error and continue down the same path. You can feel overwhelmed with guilt and spiral down into depression. I say, "Own it".

Own your mistakes. Your faults. Your sins. You are responsible for your shortcomings (and also what you do about them).

A few recommendations:

1. Take full responsibility for what you did and where you are today. You are where you are today mainly due to the cumulative decisions you've made up until this point. This is the first step in being able to change.

2. Realize your future decisions lie with you. No one is coming to the rescue. God never abandons us, but even He says "Choose you this day whom ye will serve..". He offers salvation, yet we still have to willingly believe in what He offers us. For things to turn out differently often requires different decisions to be made. If you don't like where you've been or where you are going, when will you choose to change the path you walk?

3. Apologize where needed. Repent if necessary. Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Clear the air and clean the slate. Move forward unencumbered with the emotional and spiritual weights that limit you from your best life.

4. Be realistic. No one is perfect. My dad always says, "The last perfect person was crucified.". I recommend you stop being a hardcore perfectionist or the guy with the "could care less" attitude. Neither is beneficial. Strive to do your best but also realize you are going to fail. So when you fail, own your failures. Own your mistakes. Repair the damage where you can. Apologize. Ask forgiveness. Forgive yourself. Make better decisions going forward.

5. Figure out what you want going forward. This time you may want to actually aim or aim at something different. If you don't know where you are going I promise you that's exactly where you'll end up. If the choices seem overwhelming, start with one. Pick one small thing and follow through. Start building some successes. Gain some positive forward momentum. And have an action and attitude plan for when you mess up on your new direction.

Life is a long road. Not the paved kind. Many times the path is unclear. Many times there are forks in the road. Many times you have to hack your way through. But when you are able to hit the main road and the way is clear - when you are doing what you know is best and you own your direction, that's when the scenery is a delight to behold along the way.

It's Important to Have Blinds When You Walk Around the House Naked.

Sometimes it's the simple observations in life that help us.

If you are the one that spends all of the family's money, tell me again why you are handling the finances? You don't have any money in savings but you CAN'T skip going out to eat just once a month and put it in savings instead? Right.

You don't talk to people. You don't smile. You don't listen. You talk too much. You stay home. You don't call, text, or email. You have few friends. Hmmm.

Wanting things to change but changing nothing.

He who wakes up late leaves work early. (And sometimes permanently.)

Planning vs. Jumping In

I admit it. I am a procrastinator. I think up grandiose schemes and ideas and things I want to do. I am analytical and like to think things through and do some planning. The honest truth? A lot of times my planning is a form of procrastination. I use it as a crutch because I want to do something other than what I should be doing - the activity.

What I have realized is that the activity is not all that bad. Usually, I just need to jump in, even if it's only in a small area and start building momentum. Even the best laid plans may never come to fruition just the way you put in on paper. (If they did I think you would fall in the "oracle" category - not likely.)

College Education, for example. Although there may be many choices of colleges and universities one could attend, a guy will fail to ever go because the decision of where to go is crippling - so he never starts. Whereas, if he were to just get started anywhere - a community college, just taking a few credits, that could be enough momentum to carry him through his entire education.

Need to lose some weight? Let me guess. You haven't started because you can't figure out the right diet or supplement for you. Is that it? A bit of advice. Just start. Cut out sweets. Drink more water. Reduce fast food to once a week. Start anywhere, but just start. You can figure out the details as you go.

I'm sure if I asked the pastor of my church he would tell me there are a lot of members planning on getting involved in ministry or helping where needed - but they don't. Why? They probably have every good intention to do so and probably really mean it when they say they are going to. But they get stuck. They don't know where to start or where God has gifted them or they are waiting on only God knows what to light a fire under their blessed assurance. None of these happen... so they just sit. I don't think God will be angry if they pick the "wrong" ministry to help in.

So, to borrow an overused cliche: JUST DO IT!

The Beginning - My First Blog

I made a commitment to myself to start writing a blog and update it every Friday (at least). I believe I have some gifts in the area that place me above average. More practice and some mountaintop ninja blog training would probably put me over the top to pretty good to quite good. So here's my whack at it.

My intention is to blog about life and self-improvement and motivation. Maybe a bit of spirituality thrown in. I love to think and write things down. I read 99% non-fiction and am fascinated by the challenge of life and all of the opportunities life presents, along with all the possible roads one can take.

Looking forward to the journey and hopefully I will acquire a few passengers along the way. :)